My Crohnstipated Life

If I had a loyalty card for my GI specialist, I’d be Platinum Elite Status by now.

I swear, I spend more time in my doctor’s office than anywhere else. And for all that effort? I think I deserve some perks.

✈ A reward program: 10 visits = one free coffee (decaf, of course).
✈ Priority seating: I should not have to wait 45 minutes when I’m here every month.
✈ A VIP lounge: Give me a quiet room with blankets, tea, and soft lighting for post-appointment breakdowns.
✈ Doctor points: If I correctly guess what test they’ll order, I get a discount on my copay.
✈ A complimentary emotional support nurse: Just someone to pat my shoulder and say, “I know, it’s tough.”

At this point, I should get mail at my doctor’s office. But hey—at least I always know where I’m going.

Stay Strong.