I never thought my marriage would end because of my illness.
When I vowed in sickness and in health, I believed it. I believed we would fight through anything together. That no matter how hard life got, no matter what my body threw at me, I wouldn’t have to carry the burden alone.
But the truth is, not everyone is built for this life. Not everyone can handle the unpredictability of a chronic illness. And sometimes, the very person who is supposed to love and support you turns out to be the one who makes your pain even worse.
This is the story of how Crohn’s didn’t just take my health—it took my marriage, too.
The Slow Breakdown: When Your Illness Becomes “Too Much”
At first, I didn’t see the signs. Or maybe I did see them, but I ignored them, hoping things would get better.
It started with small comments.
“Are you really too tired to go out again?”
“You were fine yesterday—why are you suddenly sick today?”
“I think you’re exaggerating how bad it is.”
Then came the frustration, the impatience. The way he rolled his eyes when I had to cancel plans. The way he sighed when I spent another night curled up in pain instead of being the wife he wanted me to be. The way he stopped asking how I was feeling—because, deep down, he didn’t want to know.
He didn’t want to deal with it.
And over time, his indifference became louder than any words he could have said.
The Loneliness of Being Sick in a Relationship
There is no loneliness quite like being in a marriage where your pain is invisible.
I was living with a disease that drained me, broke me, and reshaped my entire world. I needed kindness. I needed patience. I needed a partner who would hold my hand and say, We’ll get through this together.
Instead, I got resentment. I got dismissed. I got a man who saw me as a burden rather than a wife.
I remember lying awake at night, in pain—not just from Crohn’s, but from the aching realization that the person next to me didn’t see me anymore. He saw the illness. He saw the inconvenience. And worst of all, he saw a way out.
The Moment I Knew It Was Over
There wasn’t one big explosion. No dramatic shouting match. No ultimate betrayal.
It was the slow, steady unraveling of a marriage that was supposed to last forever.
The moment I knew it was truly over wasn’t during a fight. It wasn’t even during one of my worst flares, when I needed him the most and he wasn’t there.
It was a regular day. I was in pain—nothing new. I sat on the couch, exhausted, fighting the battle I fought every single day. He walked in, barely looked at me, and said, “What’s for dinner?”
Like I wasn’t suffering. Like I wasn’t drowning in fatigue. Like I was nothing more than a responsibility he no longer wanted to carry.
And in that moment, I realized something heartbreaking but necessary: I deserved more than this.
Choosing Myself for the First Time in a Long Time
Leaving wasn’t easy. Divorce is never easy. But neither is staying in a relationship where you are unseen, unheard, and unloved.
For years, I fought so hard to keep my marriage alive. I excused his behavior. I blamed myself for being sick. I convinced myself that if I just tried harder, maybe he would care. Maybe he would finally understand.
But here’s the truth: You cannot make someone care about your pain.
And I wasn’t just fighting Crohn’s anymore—I was fighting for a love that no longer existed.
So, I let go. Not because I wanted to. Not because I didn’t love him. But because I finally realized I needed to love myself more.
To the Ones Who Are Still Fighting Alone…
If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand your chronic illness… I see you. I know how heavy that pain is. I know how much you long for someone to simply get it.
And if you are staying because you believe you don’t deserve better—you do.
You deserve love that doesn’t make you feel guilty for being sick.
You deserve patience, even when your illness is unpredictable.
You deserve a partner who doesn’t just tolerate your condition but supports you through it.
I lost my marriage, but I found me again. I found strength I didn’t know I had. And I found the freedom to live my life without constantly apologizing for a disease I never asked for.
So if you are where I once was, I want you to know—you are not alone. And whatever choice you make, whether you stay or walk away, just know this:
Your worth is not measured by your illness. You deserve love that makes you feel whole, even on the days when you feel broken. 💜
Stay Strong!
My Crohnstipated Life 
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