Before I became a foster parent, I worried about a lot of things.
Would I be able to meet these kids’ emotional needs?
Would they feel safe and loved in my home?
Would I have the strength to help them heal from their past?
But there was one fear that felt heavier than the rest: Could I do this while battling Crohn’s disease?
Parenting, in any form, is exhausting. But fostering? That’s an entirely different level of emotional, physical, and mental energy. It’s loving children who are carrying trauma. It’s being their stability in the middle of uncertainty. It’s showing up every day, even when you have nothing left to give.
And some days, Crohn’s makes it so much harder.
But you know what? Fostering has also been one of the most beautiful, rewarding experiences of my life.
The Challenges: Fostering While Managing a Chronic Illness
Let’s be real—fostering isn’t easy for anyone. But when you add in a body that doesn’t always cooperate, it comes with a whole new set of challenges.
💜 The stress triggers flares – Foster care is unpredictable. There are court hearings, social worker visits, the fear of children leaving after you’ve loved them like your own. And stress? It’s one of the biggest Crohn’s triggers. There were days when my gut felt like it was in knots, and I had to push through anyway.
💜 Fatigue is relentless – Parenting is exhausting. Parenting children who have been through trauma? That’s a level of emotional exhaustion that’s hard to describe. I had to learn how to pace myself, to listen to my body, and to accept that resting doesn’t mean I’m failing.
💜 Food restrictions make family meals tricky – Some foster children come from food insecurity. They want all the snacks, all the fast food, all the things my Crohn’s gut can’t handle. Finding meals that worked for both of us was a challenge, but it also became a way to bond. I taught them about gut-friendly foods, and they taught me the joy of sharing a meal—even if mine looked different.
💜 Doctor’s appointments vs. foster care meetings – Between my own medical needs and my foster kids’ therapy, school meetings, and caseworker visits, my calendar was always packed. I had to learn how to balance it all, how to advocate for myself and for them, and how to make sure neither of us was neglected in the process.
The Moments That Make It All Worth It
For every hard day, there was a moment that reminded me why I said yes.
💜 The first time they called my house “home” – There is nothing like hearing a child, who has been bounced from place to place, finally feel safe enough to call your home theirs.
💜 The trust that slowly builds – Foster kids don’t trust easily. They’ve learned that adults leave. That love isn’t always safe. But when they finally let their guard down—when they crawl into your lap, when they let you brush their hair, when they open up about their past—it is everything.
💜 The small victories – A full night’s sleep after months of nightmares. A child finally believing they are worthy of love. Seeing their walls come down, little by little. These moments remind me that even on the days when my body is failing me, my heart is still strong enough to do this.
How I Make It Work: Advice for Fostering with a Chronic Illness
If you’re thinking about fostering but worry that your illness will hold you back, I want you to know it’s possible. Here’s what has helped me:
✔ Be honest with caseworkers – Let them know your limitations. You don’t have to take every placement. You don’t have to say yes to situations that might push your health too far. There are kids who need exactly what you can offer.
✔ Set up a strong support system – Whether it’s friends, family, or fellow foster parents, you will need help. Accept it. Lean on it. And don’t be afraid to say, “I need a break.”
✔ Make self-care non-negotiable – I used to feel guilty for taking time for myself. But I learned that if I don’t take care of me, I can’t take care of them. Rest when you need to. Eat what your gut tolerates. Prioritize your doctor’s appointments, because you matter too.
✔ Know that love is enough – Some days, my energy was gone before noon. Some days, I had to sit on the couch instead of playing outside. But my kids didn’t care. They cared that I was there. That I showed up. That I loved them, even on my hardest days.
Would I Do It Again? In a Heartbeat.
Fostering while living with Crohn’s has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It has stretched me, challenged me, and pushed me to my limits.
But it has also filled me.
Because at the end of the day, these kids don’t need a perfect parent. They don’t need someone who never gets sick. They need love. Stability. Someone who won’t give up on them, even when things get hard.
And that? That’s something I can give.
So to anyone out there wondering if you can foster while living with a chronic illness—yes, you can.
Because love doesn’t come from a body that works perfectly.
It comes from a heart that refuses to stop giving. 💜
Stay Strong!
My Crohnstipated Life 
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