My Crohnstipated Life

Yes, it’s a fact; Chronies cannot get a cure from surgery.  Estimates suggest that somewhere between 60 and 80% of sufferers will have surgery at some point. And 85 percent of those patients will experience a relapse within 20 years. And that, my friends, SUCKS!

Most of those of us who undergo surgery because Crohn’s medications haven’t controlled the illness have accept the idea that an operation is inevitable, and it’s very easy to get caught up in all sorts of negative self-talk that goes something like this:

“It will finally stop hurting, won’t it?”

“I’ll probably be unable to hide the scar and it will be hideous.”

“My dating life is bound to digress.”

“Life will be 100 percent better now and I’ll be able to get all the things I’ve been putting off done, or will I be sick again in a few months?”

Seriously, if you are like me, it’s taxing to strike a balance between optimism and reality.  The tendency is to believe that the surgery will fix everything that those horrible medications couldn’t and that without the affected tissue, I will be a whole lot healthier. Right?!

For the most part, many of us after a surgery are healthier.  However, we start to go down a slippery slope when we mistake “healthier” for a belief that we’re cured.  I have found myself in that current thought pattern. I’m running around Las Vegas like I don’t have a care in the world and that I don’t have Crohns Disease.

I’m very fearful though, of re-sparking the pain and symptoms somehow. From something I may eat to a side movement or sudden jolt. I know that at some point, the disorder is likely to start causing problems again, but I’m hopeful it will be far down the line. This realization has actually lead me to learn to savor each healthy, comfortable and pain free (symptom free) moment while it lasts.  Living in the present moment is really hard for those of us who have had to give up so much control of our lives to a chronic illness. But, look, I’m doing it and so can you.

I wanted to post an image of the alien that I gave birth to. This was my diseased portion of my colon. According to my surgeon this is my ileocecal valve. A brief definition of the ileocecal valve (ileal papilla, ileocaecal valve, Tulp’s valve, Tulpius valve, Bauhin’s valve, ileocecaleminence, valve of Varolius or colic valve) is a sphincter muscle valve that separates the small intestine and the large intestine. Doc placed her fist next to it so I could see how large it was. That bugger is what caused me to much grief over the last 2 years. It’s still frightening to look at.