My Crohnstipated Life

Washington Irving, American Author, wrote, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

In the aftermath of divorce, it was easy for me to believe my life had been destroyed forever. My husband was simply gone along with my home, our business’, dogs, children, cars, toys, vacation home, insurance, and everything else I had worked so hard for in the last decade.  Just like that, in a blink of the eye and due to no fault of my own.  My mind could not really fathom a reality without him. My heart did not understand.

I looked for answers, as most divorced women do. I tried everything I could think of to renegotiate what had happened in my head. Tears were my constant companions. Though I returned to work, my face became as soft as tanned leather. I cried outright when I was alone, and the tears slipped from my eyes even in public.

Research dictates that the chemicals in emotional tears differ in chemical makeup from those manufactured for any other reason. The tears of sadness and grief have two jobs to do. A little at a time, they release pain from the deep wounds of loss and from the self-recriminations and regret many women feel. Additionally – at some point in time – they leave bits of strength and healing in their salty residue.

It has only been recently that the pain of parting became the surprise of going forward, toward something new. Confusion and regret left and 2 years later healing has finally begun. It is different for each divorced woman, but knowing that it can happen, moving on, is a huge part of holding on to hope. If you have lost someone, you may not feel that hope today…or tomorrow. But hold on to life as tightly as you can, for after tragedy comes strength.

Cry. Those tears are healing.